booya

When we observe a woman who seems hostile and fiercely independent some of the time but passive, dependent and feminine on other occasions, our reducing valve usually makes us choose between the two syndromes. We decide that one pattern is in the service of the other, or that both are in th service of a third motive. She must be a really castrating lady with a facade of passivity - or perhaps she is a warm passive-dependent woman with a surface defense of aggressiveness. But perhaps nature is bigger than our concepts and it is possible for the lady to be a hostile, fiercely independent, passive, dependent, feminine, aggressive, warm, castrating person all-in-one. Of course which of these she is at any particular moment would not be random or capricous - it would depend on who she is with, when, how, and much, much more. But each of these aspects of her self may be a quite genuine and real aspect of her total being.


But if I couldnt have lots of dinner parties, if my friends instead tended to see me in lots of different situations over which i had little or no control - like, say, faced with four hostile youths in a filthy, broken-down subway - they probably wouldnt think of me as fun anymore.


"It is not just do you know somebody. It's do you really know them well enough that you know their skills and abilities and passions. That's what you like, what you do, what you want to do, what you are truly good at. Not, you are a nice person." What he is talking about is the psychological preconditions for transactive memory: it's knowing them well enough so that you can trust them to know things in their speciality. It's the re-creation, on an organization-wide level, of the kind of intimacy and trust that exists in a family.


Look at the world around you. It may seem like an immovable, implacable place. It is not. With the slightest push - in just the right place - it can be tipped.

The Tipping Point. How little things can make a big difference.