babies!

PICTURES! random ones of my childhood

cos i feel like putting them up (:



umm the face thing runs in the family. im serious.











knee high socks! as fay says: so young so fashionable HAHAHAHA. lets wear lacy knee high socks again!

thats corne hahahahaha IDIOT DIDNT TELL US HE WAS BACK FROM CHINA ON A SG-CHINA EXCHANGE PROGRAM(so funny))





she wore my brother's costume and started dancing!

and apparently i took the belt and it became my hairband

you gotta love the hair man. seriously.

HAHAHAHA





she's damn cute





if you didnt know, many of them are of my sis. haha the one in my dad's army boots is my sis. the prettiest baby ive seen!

no title

actually, i realised i havent been updating about my life =/

--
OK IN ORDER OF WHICH APPEARS IN MY HEAD:

volunteer work comes first!

it was funfunfun. first day was a race(maria hated it hahaha) second day was sticker day! (we love stickers (:) see the sticker on the top right corner of your bib? that the sticker we like to stick! haha. didnt see our names, but we saw many funny names!

had a damn good time laughing. i know its bad to laugh at people's names but some were hilarious.

there was an albus dumbledore(awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee) then there was a something hammer metal, which led anantha to go something hammer zinc! HAHHAHA.

anyway, met many new people!

auntie! our volunteer leader,
dexter! some random supersmart guy who's a badminton player and just finished ns.
anantha! a guy whose best friend is the 'prettyfly' angmoh guy who took part in the poetry slam!

and they are all very nice people (: i wonder what it'll be like if they were in our school! including auntie! i wonder what she was when she was young.

she's so cute. like a cute mum yknow? i glad we managed to wave and talk a little to auntie on race entry pack collection day! and met dexter too! saw anantha but he dint see us. dang.

so volunteering days ended with food (: first day it was benandjerrys, second day was gelare!(half-priced waffles!) shared mine with jojo then after that we shared auntie annes! FAT hahahhahaha. but tis ok we're still sexy heh.

so the two days of volunteering was fun. and very much memorable (:

--
next up issssssss the bag collection day! HAHHAHHA hilarious.

we queued(and almost fainted doing so) for an hour or so. and coach told us today he didnt even have to queue for his cos he collected on the last few days. UNFAIR.

but it was worth going as a team cos we did many surveys! we helped many companies advertise and gave feedback to them. we're damn helpful i cant stand it. freebies? what freebies? nono we did surveys for the companies not for the freebies tsktsk what gave you that idea.

haha ya right. we sat there longer than the waiting time. my arm almost dropped carrying the bag loaded with free stuff back home. i happily waited for my mum for alil less than half an hour cos i couldnt imagine walking home with the heavy bag and cramps. cramps suck.

hey. at least we helped do surveys :P

--
i cant remember anything else.

ya thats about it(:

no OG outings yet, no sleepovers yet, only a whole load of trainings trainings trainings.

on the first day of school if anyone asks how were my holidays, i'll say i spent it on a holiday to sajc gallery with 17 other people.

--
i want shopping! and cashhhhhh.

wohmygosh i think my sis just threw the house phone on the wall i heard a great big loud THUDDDDDD i could feel the vibration.

scary shit.

today, i watched the duchess buy a hat.

seems like its been very long since ive written about MY DAY

hahahaha its all random rubbish thrown into paragraphs.

anyyywayyyyy today was an eventful day!

--
quarelled with my sis twice i have no idea why, but that aside, today i went for dental and training!

woke up earlyyy(its so hard to getup in the morn on a holiday) and went for dental.

we were walking to the bustop(a few metres away) and my sis said to me:
'eh if we're at the junction and you see the bus coming try to act paika(crippled) so the driver will stop for us k!'

and when the busstop was in sight, lo and behold the bus was there. and leaving. -.-

nevermind! at least i got to read my book! (bimbo book but heh) so we sat down and waited and my darling sis realised she forgot to bring her retainers(which i reminded her to). so she walked back and while she was gone another bus came! and left.

so much for planning out the timings properly.
leave home at 10.15 since 10 is too early and 1030 is too late! and we'll take 229 since you're a paika(she likes the new word she learnt)

in the end we left our house area at 11 >:(

anywayyyy. at bedok mrt station we went up the escalator and while going upupup, the train left. (time to read bimbo book again)

then when we reached buona vista, we saw the row of people at the shuttle bus service waiting line walking towards to bus! so we kinda walked faster incase the bus leaves without us but as we were walking, he bus driver signalled to us to stop and wait in line cos that bus' full already. BUMMER. right at me and my sis >:(

so we were late for dental. AGAIN.

but its ok cos dr ong's the world's best doctor who took triple science and C maths in jc. (i cant remember which jc he was in)

next dental in 6 months. i kinda miss dental. ):

after dental which ended around 1plus, i made my way to training! ( which on the way i realised was pushed to 5 cos of rain and the field which was already in a bad enough condition. it didnt need more holes in it. (maybe we can play golf on it one day.)

so i met tammy pris sherlyn cel and hid in school! on the way i asked if they wanted anything and 3 minutes after hanging up, i forgot if they wanted it or not =/ my sis says im stressed. heh.

the school was so empty! i like empty schools. thats why i love camps you see (: its like you live there. YOUR HOUSE. huge house with built in auditoriums, track and field. and of course, the people you love just and arms' length away.

anyway back to today. training was fun (: we did slow motion set pieces which was helpful in a way! then we played a short mini game which was good.

canadian international this wednesday. so what if they're bigger. just push. higher cg, they fall faster. and theyve got more mass to carry when running. speedy gonzalez isnt very big is he.

(: we can we can!

--
just let me live out this psycho period. im sick of it too.

i think im tired. haha im gna sleep now. gnight world, i hope today was a good day. (;

to anyone who needs it now,

my best friend once said to me when i was down in the dumps:

hey you, yes you:) smile kay, all things work together for good. when one door seems to be shut, the big guy up there is opening another gate for you:) ...

and i truly believe it. when something goes wrong and you think all is lost, take a step back and tell yourself no its not. there're so many other things to look forward to.

im always here k

ice and oil

how i wish we could start anew, start afresh, start like a whole new person. how i wish i could go up to you and say 'hello im carin! caring without the g *winkwink' and know its the start of something new, something beautiful.

how i wish we wouldnt scrutinize our every move, judge our every thought. how i wish there were no expectations, there were no reasons to be mad, only reasons to love.

this all can come true right?

how i wish, everyone wished for this.

--
match against ngee ann poly today. lost, 4-1. but it was a fantastic game.

--
i dont know what to think. i really dont. its such a worry, such a letdown.

i dont need another reason for him to not want me. i dont need another obstacle. i dont need another reason to not be able to contribute.

please let nothing be wrong. let me wake up tomorrow and see it all fine and handsome, like it's always been.

im already replaceable enough.

--
Happy Birthday Ameer! (:

It takes a crane to build a crane
it takes two floors to make a story
it takes an egg to make a hen
it takes a hen to make an egg
there is no end to what I’m saying

It takes a thought to make a word
and it takes some words to make an action
it takes some work to make it work
it takes some good to make it hurt
it takes some bad for satisfaction

la la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
and it takes a day to make you yawn brother
it takes some old to make you young
it takes some cold to know the sun
it takes the one to have the other

And it takes no time to fall in love
but it takes you years to know what love is
and it takes some fears to make you trust
it takes those tears to make it rust
it takes the dust to have it polished (Yeah)

ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la la la la life goes full circle
ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
ah la la la it is so (and it’s so)

It takes some silence to make sound
and it takes a loss before you found it
and it takes a road to go nowhere
it takes a toll to make you care
it takes a hole to make a mountain

just like rubbish. its odour, its unsightliness.

sometimes, maybe sometimes, you gotta put yourself in her/his shoes.

what will she achieve if she does this? or that? what will she lose? what will happen?

and sometimes, just sometimes, you realise, she achieves what she wants much easier, if you could help.

by putting yourself in her shoes.

i was very unthoughtful today. and i shall have to bear the consequences for very long.

just got a chain mail from mildred today. perhaps i can blame my bad days on it from now on, especially if its tomorrow.

i feel like throwing them away.

in fact, i feel like throwing myself away.

how do you do?

beat: have you ever woken up knowing there's nothing to look forward to?


--
i wish i could help bring smiles to your days and light to your eyes. from the heart.

--
say hello to a lagging computer as i type this word the previous five words appear its hilarious hellohellohellohello

went shopping with mummy and sis today (: havent shopped in the longest time. went taka and she looked at super expensives shoes mygoodness. 160 for ballet pumps. and she bought TWO pairs of shoes. my mummy likes shopping, i can tell.

so after buying the shoes she decided to go look for a dress to match! but she said 'ah ive already got dresses dont need to buy.'

we still went to look anyway. didnt see my green dress ): but there were many beautiful gowns mygosh. when will i be able to wear the long dresses that touch the floor. they're taller than me.

bought my sis two dresses, didnt buy any cos 1. didnt know when ill wear them, 2. didnt see anything i liked

i finally found my longsleeve striped shirt though =D

i think we'll go clothes shopping again soon. for warmer wear to bring to china. i hope i stay warm in china. being so cold you cant walk totally spoils everything.

ate mos burger(cos we always do :P) ate auntie annes, drank mcCafe, came back, ate sweet potatos, slept, ate dinner, ate chips, ate cheesewithcrackers(cheddar tasteed horribly funky) and milo and here i am, blogging, with my painful ass on the chair.

i think i hear a double chin and spare tire coming. rabia once told me she ate cheese for two weeks and got a double chin. i better stop. i want fats/muslce, but not at the wrong places thanks.

its nice to wake up and spend the day fruitfully (: every sunday used to be something to look forward to cos temasek club was the best place to be when young. it still is i guess. hope we can go there again (:

k that's all. CIP tomorrow, lets hope we have fun

to sum up today :) :

dan says:
anywayssss
dan says:
how u been
this old man says:
today was a good day (:
this old man says:
we had our school's open house!
this old man says:
was pretty fun
this old man says:
we went running around the school getting people t ojoin soccer girls and we played a little
this old man says:
then our teacher bought us pizza!
this old man says:
and it just so happened the pizza came during the talent show section of today so we sat RIIIIIIIGHT in front on the floor and ate pizza with coke
this old man says:
ohmygosh i love pizza and coke/pepsi
this old man says:
i ate so much my throat is totally messed up now
this old man says:
and after the whole thing, when the whole open house is about to end, the dj(my friend) blasted songs for the soccer girls and the canteen was empty(no tables not many people) so we just started head banging in the middle of it
this old man says:
HAHHAA it was hilarious we were like a bunch of crazy people
this old man says:
we were dancing to dance floor anthem by good charlotte!

im never gna forget dance floor anthem.

--
milo has become my favourite night drink! =D makes me feel warm and fuzzy before going to bed you see.

keep your stomachs warm and your night will be a good one
-by someone intelligent

--
TODAY WAS LIKE CELEBRATION FOR AFTER PROMOS!

i cant wait to get cash so i can go starbucks and study (:

i cant wait till me rox wendy finally find a suitable day to sleepover

i can wait for selection test. as tammy says, i hate this separation. why why why.

--
details on open house in point form:

-failure. turnout was horrible. there were more 1990s walking around than 1991s
-fun cos we were walking around (:
-fun cos we played whack the bimbo
-fun cos we had pizza and coke
-fun cos of talent comp
-fun cos of dj fay *does rapper handsign
-FUN COS OF SOCCER GIRLS

totally crazy people fooling around everywhere i think we scared alot of people. especially shaz with her 'yo yo wassup! come join soccer girls got alot of cute and hot people like us!' HAHAHA shazzy wazzy.

fuzzy wuzzy likes slippers especially from haviannas but not crocs

--
good day today (: really good. k i should sleep before anything ruins it!

dear diary today was a good day =DDDDDDDD x100

to you.

i wrote alot of shit here but i thought i'd put them in more simpler words.

i havent changed. dont make me out to be a monster. im not. i dont want to be. i miss you ncbf.

i miss carin. alot.

from anger to disappointment to depression. i will not move on to acceptance because friends dont do that.

--
the soccer girls can get many team stuff besides the usual jacket bag bottle jersey

we can get team sbs, team kneeguards and i just realised, team plasters for our $#^$*! abrasions.

--
welcome back coach. we were so close to burning the track already.

--
open house this sat. mass dance every two hours, booths, exhibition match. yet another match to throw my fcuked up face away.

i dont know what to expect.

--
stupid day. i doubt even ten happy meals wouldve made me happy

why the f am i getting so many bad days nowadays?

--
anyway, two of my favourite people's birthdays today. happy occasion (:

happy birthday my dearest xiangyi. i miss you! as i said, i tried to think of a touching sentence to come after HAPPY BIRTHDAY but i couldnt find the proper words.

but as the coaster goes,

"THE FRIENDS can connect in a mysterious way without even speaking.
Perhaps they have AMAZING MAGICAL POWERS.
Perhaps they are just both PECULIAR IN THE HEAD."

go out soon k! was hoping to meet you that day but fahmi was a turnoff.

so you should come to SA open house! heh.

and...

happy birthday charu!!! haha i dont know what sa would be without a friend like you (:

when you think nobody feels you, we feel you. im very sure you're doing the same to me. heartsyou. love you truckloads babe! we'll have our crystal jade date soon k!

love thy friends.

today was a good day (:

went for some tour guide thingamagic in the morning, the pay's gooooood cos they give it to you in a brown envelope at the start of the day it feels good! hahaha

language barrier oh language barrier. i got a group of four guys, but i hung around with abel for the entire trip and he got a group of 4 guys too so it was practically 9 guys 1 girl.

it was fun! cos they were so polite and blur about everything. i think they were pretty bored cos we couldnt communicate but it was still fun! too bad i had to leave earlier and couldnt take photos with them and all

went for training after that.

had to change in pp mrt station's toilet and there was this irritating lady in one cubicle she was practically screaming at her mum and speaking ahlian language(if it even exists) it was terrible to hear. she was in there for so long and talked to about three people i wonder if she realised its a public toilet.

'wo xien zhai zai da bian la!'

what nonsense i didnt need to know. #$#@


19 rounds after that. today's training was just messy. ran together as a group but the group fell apart. and it was supposed to be 19 rounds in under 45 but we did it in 55 minutes plus. how in the world am i gna make 25 rounds in an hour.

the soccer girls are gna have flat stomachs soooon (: if this keeps up.

shared kfc with tammy and sherlyn after that. i wish i could eat dinner out after training cos its such a bother going home tired hungry and...tired. at least if i ate dinner out there's time for me to relax after training.

anyway, good day today fullstop.

i think im pmsing please dont talk to me i might just scream

--
yesterday was a totally different thing though. it was like an outcast day.

i woke up, washed up, went halfway down the stairs and my mum and sis started shooing me to get ready in ten minutes cos we're going to this new place for lunch. they had gone out to popular. if i could count the number of outings my mum has had with my sis with my fingers, i'd have to attach another pair of hands.

i dont like being rushed ten minutes after i woke up, even if its 3 in the afternoon.

i think that totally ruined my day. or maybe it was fated to be a horrible day.

ate lunch my sis was piling her lunch on my plate while i ate cos she thought my mum was sharing with me. totally pissed the shit out of me for some reason. ate almost all of it in the end anyway. its ok. put on weight akthetlgahvjghagef

pissed me off again in the car by talking bout sensitive issues

on the way back they dropped me off at 168 to get lunch for my maid who was sick. i got off, didnt even bother asking my sister to follow cos during then i really couldnt give a flying f. walked home by myself only to get home and realise i had three missed calls from my sis. called back and she was fcuking screaming in my ear cos they were sitting in the comfortable car for so long,waiting for me, while i walked home. real nice.

went back, thought i might save the rest of the day by getting back to bed and waking up on the the right side of bed.

when i woke up it was 7.30 why didnt anyone wake me up for dinner(7) so i went out it was dark and i found all of them(mum sis bro) on the third floor happily doing their own things but together(if you know what i mean) it was like, all of them were on the third floor with their room doors open(since when did that happen?) while i was on the dark second floor sleeping in my room, oblivious to the family.

sucked.

walked to 168 to get dinner and my dinner sucked cos the lady was being horrible i wish i ate something else.

it was a totally bad day i was ignoring my sis and all her jokes i'd have thought were funny. and the more i ignored the more pissed off i got

just typing it out makes me want to swear in every sentence that was how bloody bad it was.

krathe haiehf; bajye8htauhretag a;y4etkhregdbfgbdaf kjvbdakfjv ahfa

thanks goodnight

rayner's birthday tomorrow how to celebrate tell me please

i feel like im bingeing

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

natasha bedingfield - Soulmate

19 rounds tomorrow, I CAN I CAN

ingenue
i just dont know what to do

--
explain to me my lack of energy, explain to me this baarrier in my head, because it seems like icant figure it out myself

i think i should sleep early every night because once its silent and im alone, thoughts pour.

not nice. nope. not nice at all.

bedtime of 10oclock here i come!

humour me. please.

Temperament
Idealist
You are the quintessential dreamer - spending more time thinking about the possibilities that the world holds for you, rather than your reality. You don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire and you work very hard. You tend to live in every place except the present - you are prone to daydreaming about the future and re-thinking the choices you made in the past. Sometimes you get overly caught up in your thoughts.

Interests
Simple
You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.

Amusement
Thoughtful
You are easily stressed out and overwhelmed - you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because you tend to be self reflective, you know your limits quite well and must remember to not exceed those limits. When you overwhelm your life with obligations and responsibilities, you tend to shut down and go into yourself even further. Take some time to find your serenity and kick back your feet.

Passion
Emotional
For you passion is less about romance and sex - it's more about friendship and family. Strong emotional bonds and connections are your passion and your pleasure. You always let your loved ones know how much you love, respect and admire them. You do this through kind words, loving actions and simple gestures. You count your blessings each day and express your love openly. You expect the same from others.

haha facebook picture personality! nice pictures. i like nice pictures =D

hey there

highlight of this week will most probably be training(s)

12 rounds intervals today, so tiring both physically and mentally

im glad its over though. im disappointed i couldnt do them all consecutively and i needed beatrice to push me on, but still. lets hope i break the barrier in my head. the only comfort's that our timings were all quite good (: almost all under 2.20?

7k in under 45 minutes this wednesday IM REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT YA.

--
iandr tonight, i think im gna fall asleep the moment i hit the bed.

--
katong laksa and band with rachel tomorrow. i cant wait! i miss everyone and everything. (its been long since ive hung out in the east with someone familiar)

beatrice asked if we were like this is in secondary school(as in personality), i dont know, maybe. i cant tell. i think i was happier in sec sch though.

but then again, maybe not

sec sch was fun. my ups were real ups, the downs were real downs. i made strong friendships but also lost many precious ones. so its like a neverending rollercoaster of emotions. one moment you're high in the sky and the next you'r close to the ground.

there're so many things i remember, so many things i want to relive and so many things i'd like to make right. but somehow i dont see a point.

weining huijia yining jolene alicia xinyi, they all seem like history already. and its sad cos they were once part of my life. and whats even sadder is that they dont seem to care.












can i cry now?

i accidentally posted this on my sisters blog =/

--
i wanna read up on emotional contagion. sound just like tipping point - incredibly boring yet fascinating.

--
thanks charu for your words, they made my night. im gna sleep with a smile on my face tonight and its all cos of you (:

and tomorrow when i wake up(which i hope i do in time), me and my sister will be starting my mum's birthday with a big BANG! if only i bought party poopers(not poop poopers but the bangbang poopers) then it can be a bigbig bang!
(note from kris: bytheway, its party POPPERS)

but maybe 8am's too early for big bangs =/ heh

made a cake for her and 15 muffins! truckloads of love to my sis and maid for helping till midnight (: MUAH

they looks diabetically awesome hahahaha. i doubt she'll eat them though. she refused a bite of chocolate just now,

and i coated the cake with melted chocolate =/ (FONDUE)

i hope she at least eats a little of it.

ya i know its premixed bettycrockers cake and it'll prolly taste the same in a hundred and fifteen houses but it's my first attempt to bake a cake and its filled with tender loving care (:

every almond piece is stuck there by hand!(sis and beth) and every chocolate drop is filled with LUUUUVE.(carinleethewonderful)

heh i hope she eats it fullstop.

--
ohyes. i met roxanne that day. it was AWKWARD. too awkward to be true.
never ever ever let it happen again!

we're gna have a sleepover soon! i hope i hope i wish!

--
mummy just told me we're flying on the 18 and coming back on the 1st.
say hello to miss zombie on the first day of school - the 2nd. HA. (my mum has work too she says she'll drop her bags dont do anything and just sleep when we return)

--
my sis says she doesnt wanna grow up cos grown ups have so much to think about, and she doubts she'll be able to

i doubt i can too. but i think everyone doubts that at first but they still go through it. there's no stopping, no turning back. so you gotta learn, you're forced to. maybe that's what's so tiring in life. you cant say no i wanna go back, and neither can you stop.

all you can do is hope and pray tomorrow will be a better day. (heh i made a rhyme) maybe thats why the compre passage on Hope was so thought-provoking.

whats life without Hope. its like accepting anything that comes your way be it bad or worse. its like telling yourself shit, tomorrow's gonna be worse nothing good's gna happen.

i cant imagine living a life like that. can you?

--
cold rock, please like me (:

booya

When we observe a woman who seems hostile and fiercely independent some of the time but passive, dependent and feminine on other occasions, our reducing valve usually makes us choose between the two syndromes. We decide that one pattern is in the service of the other, or that both are in th service of a third motive. She must be a really castrating lady with a facade of passivity - or perhaps she is a warm passive-dependent woman with a surface defense of aggressiveness. But perhaps nature is bigger than our concepts and it is possible for the lady to be a hostile, fiercely independent, passive, dependent, feminine, aggressive, warm, castrating person all-in-one. Of course which of these she is at any particular moment would not be random or capricous - it would depend on who she is with, when, how, and much, much more. But each of these aspects of her self may be a quite genuine and real aspect of her total being.


But if I couldnt have lots of dinner parties, if my friends instead tended to see me in lots of different situations over which i had little or no control - like, say, faced with four hostile youths in a filthy, broken-down subway - they probably wouldnt think of me as fun anymore.


"It is not just do you know somebody. It's do you really know them well enough that you know their skills and abilities and passions. That's what you like, what you do, what you want to do, what you are truly good at. Not, you are a nice person." What he is talking about is the psychological preconditions for transactive memory: it's knowing them well enough so that you can trust them to know things in their speciality. It's the re-creation, on an organization-wide level, of the kind of intimacy and trust that exists in a family.


Look at the world around you. It may seem like an immovable, implacable place. It is not. With the slightest push - in just the right place - it can be tipped.

The Tipping Point. How little things can make a big difference.

till all the feeling has gone

im never gna look at blues clues and sesame street the same again.
the tipping point's incredibly boring but just as fascinating. and no this is not a classic case of i dont want to be a bartender i want to be a bartender as half the class knows, it actually makes sense.

i do not go round the bush and still not make my point, its just that none of you see it. or maybe i really dont huh.

i miss the first half of the year. it wasnt great, but its a hell lot better than the next half. i want another chalet stat(hahaha)

ive resorted to wearing spectacles while using the computer, as hard as ive tried to avoid it cos squinting makes my eyes hurt ):

--
OK THE WEEK'S UPDATES!

i havent done updates for veryvery long maybe thats whats missing in your lives hahahaha

ok ill stop.

--
monday:

chinese As! didnt go very well. me and fay are banging our heads on the table for not reading the zuoye cos the exact question came out >:( lets hope i get ATLEAST a C and save me the trouble of deciding if i should retake. went ps with jo pris cheryl after that to wait for training.

i made jo angry that day. i realised i dont know what to do when someone's angry. especially when its hard to say even anything and not make it worse.

tuesday:

i think i slept the whole day.

wednesday:

pw in school at ten but ohsoawake me woke up at 10. s i reached at 12 ): i need an alarm clock that tickles.
wasnt very pleasant at all, and i dont like it. why did it happen?
sometimes, silence doesnt mean anger. it means alone time, time to stop think and reflect like pause freeze and rewind, time to regain your sense and get your thinking straight. and if me being angry affects you, it affects me just as bad when you are too.

after that was mos with fay joey kaili and it made my stomach bad during training ):
training was supposedly alright but after training coach talked to me and told me my playing's horrible. hit me twice as bad cos i dont see it. maybe this applies to the life im leading now.

made me think so much and with wangleehom was singing kiss goodbye in my ear on the bus, i hope the people sitting behind me werent laughing at the foolish child sniffling in front.

that night was quite a horrible night. was quite a horrible day infact.

thursday:
OP day. things were pretty ok, i dont think i answered the question correctly cos i was given a second. almost half the group was given a second, i hope it doesnt mean a bad thing.

but well done SA119 we can go to lalaland now

went out with mona after that! highlight of the week.

sneaked into her hostel shhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wish i could have a sleepover in the hostel cos its like an overseas trip! its pretty and big and your friends are just an arm's length away. thats nice to know.

went citylink to meet tammy! we had thai express. tomyum and mango salad = world war three in my stomach. hahaha. phat thai's nice i wanna eat some more (:

then we ate YAMI YOGHURT! haha mona's weird she tries weird things. if only we took a picture. the cup of yoghurt of a matured lady topped with wheatgerm and mueslis and the one of an immatured child topped with the colourful pebbles(forgot what they're called) and strawberries. NICE. i want one right now!

after that tammy realised she had church and had to go, i realised i was tired so i didnt go with mona to buy her sb (im sorry ): )

went back, read tipping point.

friday: which is today!

skipped self training in order to recharge. i think i need more than just a day though. im not used to this messy life where in roxanne's words, the world's having a psycho period and forgot to include us.
lets hope it tides over fast, before anything happens. i wouldnt know what to do, really.

mummy talked to me about work, sounds fascinating but tiring and demanding. what will happen if im not competent enough? i wish she'd stop talking to me like a teacher who's lecturing. i dont like it when you stare in my eyes and ask me rhetorical questions. its makes me uncomfortable as hell.

breakfast with the team tomorrow. i cant wait (: i want banana prata! and bandung heh.

i wish i had enough cash to fuel my desires. if i made a list of things to eat now, ill eat all the restaurants

--
i wish we'd stop being irritable. i wish i kew what to do. would it make you angry to know i dont blame you? would it make you feel better if i shouted back?

that doesnt make sense.

would it make you feel better if i just left you alone? why do i get the feeling you feel obliged to behave the way you think we want you to?

the tale of the clash of two backgrounds

i wish you'd clear my doubts, the ones i have of you of me.

tammy just sent me a bumper sticker :i think i lost a brain cell

no, i think i lost much more than that. and i wish i knew why, so i'd stop losing them, before i lose the most important part which keeps my thoughts and mind going.

i wish i could tell you all these face to face because writing out these on blogs seem lowly. but how can i, when all these are just thoughts unaccompanied by evidence.

the reason why i deleted my previous one was because i thought all the things i said were lowly of me to say it in a blog. guess im sick of being not lowly.

i hate , i wish i was somewhere else.