When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you've got a friend in me
Yeah, you've got a friend in me

--
so amazed, so blown away, really.

im amazed at how every single one of the people around me are so goddamned special yknow? all the band members, my bandies were special in a wonky sort of way. now the soccer girls too. and fay verin charu, rox yinhui wendy lynn, secondary school buds.

its like, meant to be...you know?

every single one of them have taught me stuff, consciously/subconsciously. they all play a part in my everyday life, and its just so amazing how i ended up knowing them.

my secondary school friends too. i admit, not every memory with them are happy ones, there still are regrets and unhappiness and anger, but even those help me in some way or another. like how a fall teaches you not to do it again.

blessed. everything i wanted, i somehow get. i should give in return right? just yesterday my sister i were looking at our baby pictures, for some odd reason. we went to the study room to look for a book and ended up looking through all the photo albums. she misses the way we used to celebrate birthdays with birthday cakes and candles and the family around a table. i do too.

told her i miss eating cake(from looking at pictures of birthday cakes), and today on the way home, on the train at buona vista she sends me a text 'hey where are you! i specially made a detour on my way home to buy cake for you! roar!'
(it turned out to be a brownie but still! its cake-ish right)

i know i need to buff up, gain some strength for soccer, and here ive got so many people egging me to go gyming, volunteering to go with me.

i said i miss drawing and painting, and suddenly, we've got props to make.

i said i wanna dance, and suddenly im in mass dance.

blessed.

i really wanna give back. do unto others how you want others to do unto you. cliche i know, but damn why has it gotta be so true

when i die, i'd want that day to become give-back-day.

NO im not being suicidal. dont be silly.

--
why is it friday already? i thought just yesterday i told fayanne i'll study my ass off during the holidays.

since when did september holidays consist of two days? its unbelievable. i refuse to believe it.

im feeling tired. and its scary yknow? i studied the whole of monday and tuesday, but all ive done is bonding, atomic structure and bacteria.

i slept wednesday away, slept half of thursday away, and now, its already friday. ive got organic chem, chem calculations, dna, econs, and the entire year of maths to learn. in a month. how to promote you ask? i dont know either.

but wait.. thats not really scary. the scariest thing is, ive only studied two days, and im tired, sick of studying. jc's no walk in the park, i know. the fact that i cant meet its requirements(studying everyday) is pissing the hell out of me and scaring me.

bio test tomorrow, then mass dance, then tuition, then simpang. lets hope i'll be recharged enough to study during the weekends again. pleasepleaseplease let me be able to study!

study study study. my life seriously revolves around books now. its nice to know there still will be people around you even when you're concentrating your entire time on books.

i still dont really believe this life is mine, that im the one leading it. recently, at one point in time i got so disorientated, everything seemed surreal, seemed different, seemed as though it wasnt happening. even the tinkle of the spoon against the cup when i stirred tea seemed alien. im still in a daze. just thinking of that puts me back on the rollercoaster.

i really need to settle down in sa. put my heart and soul in it, just like how i felt in bedokview. true, its a totally different lifestyle, and i cant help but keep wondering, would it be better if it was that way instead of this, this way instead of that, then i realise, its not gonna happen. live with this life. your everyday train rides, your alone time at the gallery in the morning, your hectic tuesdays, your very separated class. its all gonna be this way. not everyone's how you want them to be, and they dont have to be. make the best of it.

--
GET MOTIVATED (: come on people its ONE MORE MONTH. just studystudystudystudy dont worry about not spending time with your friends, they're studying tooo! lets just get this over and done with OK

must take Alevels next year together k!