because life's depressing nowadays. it always has been, unless we find sparkles in the little things we're blessed with

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

time can be transcended, just remember me

this is what i call OWNAGE :D

i wish i was beautiful like greece

time to study for bio spa. this week went by reallyreally fast, fortunately. june hols are here. time to do all the work ive put off for another day plus all the work that has to be done ofr the future.

thank god ive people around me to help me through

--
friday was team sajc closure. throughout the thing all i could think of is, here i am, sitting here again, just like at the start when we were standing down there taking the pledge, just like last year, when we were wearing our medals, just like last year, when we were taking the pledge.

it was a flashback of oneandahalfyears.

friday was soccer vs rugby in a game of soccer and touch rug, we only got to see part of touch rug. before that they played basketball and street soccer at the basketball court it was hilarious they are ridiculously funny.

friday was soccer girls farewell. our juniors can join band choir drama and start a new cca called stand-up comedy. i love them, truly.

at least there is an end now

Drying up in conversation,
You will be the one who cannot talk
All your insides fall to pieces,

--
to sajc soccer boys, you guys put meaning to 'the beautiful game', thats all i need to say. you should be proud of whatever you all have done, noone plays soccer like you guys do. that colour of the medal you're gna hold just aint right, but its ok, we all know what superb players you all are. thank you for letting me watch such beautiful play, its unforgettable, something which makes me proud to have come to sa.

--
last week of school, this has been one of the toughest months to get through.

the three of us were having this conversation today and its inevitable, we've all changed, whether its good or bad, noone can tell cos who's to say whats right and wrong

im gna miss many things, i hope this week comes to an end soon, i need to settle my mind calm my soul finally recharge

are you up to go do that with me?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST ROXANNE. i cant get through alevels without you

by emmy rossum

Rushing and racing
and running in circles
Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose
Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
Getting nowhere

My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic
Pace of the world
I just wish I could stop it
Try to appear like I've got it together
I'm falling apart

Save me
Somebody take my hand, and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Sometimes I fear that I might dissapear
In the blur of fast forward I faulter again
Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep
I'm getting nowhere

All that I've missed I see in the reflection
Passed me while I wasn't paying attention
Tired of rushing, racing and running
I'm falling apart

Tell me
Oh won't you take my hand and lead me
Slow me down
Don't let love pass me by
Just show me how
'Cause I'm ready to fall
Slow me down
Don't let me live a lie
Before my life flies by
I need you to slow me down

Just show me
I need you to slow me down

The noise of the world is getting me caught up
Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it
Just need to breathe, somebody please
Slow me down

....

...where's everyone?


just wait to scream

only god will know

there's nothing more to be said. what needs to be said already has, and whatever hasnt been said has already been felt.

come on soccer guys life those chins of yours there's one last match to go, dont let this little hiccup bring you down, dont let it mask your sight of the next victory becuase that next game, is ours. team sajc is behind you guys allll the way, this time i really mean it.

last year i felt like it was just us and the school(which wasnt very big). but this year, oh this year's different. this year team sajc is one family. we're all behind one another so when you feel weary, when you feel down, think about this big group of people behind you and feed off our energy because its all yours.

on a lighter note, CONGRATS TO THE HOCKEY GIRLS TODAYYYY! semis down, FINALS BABY. COME ON GO GO GO! sajc soccer girls will be there for you guys FOR SURE.

--
hello you. you came so fast, and now you're gone. i'd write a song for you if i could.

Words can't say what a love can do

--
some things are better left unsaid, arent they

--
i guess im just bitter about how i never managed to find something together after one whole year, and you did what i wanted to, in just a short span of a few months. no really. its depressing to see. brings me back to my point of insignificance, yknow?

i woke up to sunshinnnnne

its 1.25pm on a tuesday afternoon, and there's nobody online.




feels good (:


:you wna eat real food or fake food?
:eh the caf's damn crowded
:ok lets eat fake food

i love how we all understand each other so well even though our words are nonsense

i hated how i could only sit there and watch helplessly i wish im more of a help i wish i could do more, do something solid for you, i wish i was more.

im having so much trouble finding meaning in anything right now. all those words cards notes dinner flowers jokes laughter the things people/i say or do. its all....just a happening that flies past.

there is no meaning anymore

and im sorry im such a wet blanket, im sorry i cant be strong for you guys especially in this crucial period. i will be, ,just let me be weak for awhile.

it just seems like one big black abysmal chunk of shit but its only like that if we think so.

i feel like one bbig fat bitch if you could hear my thoughts you'd see what an ugly person i am

when you reap not what you sow

it sucks. and im not just talking about labour. what about emotions feelings tolerance sacrifices? all for naught?

im speechless.

you tell me, you tell us, repeatedly, that its the process that counts.
i throw it right back at your face.

im sick of school. fucking sick. and im sick and tired of answering to people who come and go. are you worth appreciating

and i slowly go insane

so today i skipped another team lunch cos momma beckoned(using reverse psychology) twas bittersweet.

i felt like being a good lil daughter so i agreed to do a uuuturn and walk to her polyclinic,which i did. ate lunch with her, then we went to nissan service centre to change some car battery(which i later found out was car KEY batteries) then we went tampines to pick up my repaired samsung phone (which according to jojo is lousyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy(sometimes i think so too but its still mine so i still like it ha)) and her fila shirt AND, the best part's here

at tampines we started shopping like we were meant to be shopping.

mum's trying to look for dresses, i was just looking around, looking for a bag which is quite badly needed. didnt manage to decide, so tmr we're gna get me a bag (:

so where's the bitter where's the sweet?

sweet's in the shopping part. bitter's in the shopping part too,ironically. its about time i stopped sponging off my mum like she's gna provide for me all my life. bout time i stopped buying stuff everytime we're out. there's more to an outing than just shopping, there's more to happiness between us than just buying me stuff

right?

--
training today was better, i think. i dont care if im hopeless or useless in the team.im not, i repeat, not gna lay back just cos i think ive lost.

we're all troubled souls but we can change that. and we can start, by starting with ourselves.

--
today feels like a day where i shouldnt say anything cos everything that comes out comes out wrong. and i think im right.

hey

smile girl you're brighter than sunshine. it hurts to see you down and out so why dont you take a whiff of some happy smells from your happy pillow and look at the world anew. let the darkness fade away and sunshine seep through because thats what life's all about - being happy. enjoy the world my love its waiting for you to shine even brighter than you already are. believe it.

what the hell am i doing here

sometimes the things people do just warms my heart. like what zeehui did today (: got a message from her all of a sudden asking if im alright and i was very touched. zhien's been caring alot lately too and thats commendable since she's already graduated.

me being out of band, i thought i could keep in touch with everyone and everything but seems like im out of their lives already. sudden appearances and small talk can only go so far.

and that applies to secondary school friends too. just recently ive been thinking, where're they, where am i in their lives.

and that leads to, where am i in people's lives now. sometimes the things people do just makes me think wtf do you take me for but i realised today on the bus that that doesnt matter. what matters most to me is what i take you for. and im not taking you lightly, just so you know.

--
on a lighter note, last night i took my flu tablet(not cos i have the flu though) wayyyyyyyyy before i planned to sleep just so i could feel what it feels like to be drowsy :D

then i went to pack my room! previously my notes were in many piles. now, my notes are still in many piles. but at least they're categorised piles not just nonsensestacksofuselesspaper

halfway through i got woozy(yea finally) so i went to sleep

set my alarm to wake up for chelsea liverpool BUT IT DIDNT RING. I SWEAR ITS NOT ME WHO DIDNT WAKE UP MY PHONE CHEATED ME. AGAIN.

woke up to a tiny beep, message from someone to tell me the score at 5AM wth.

if a small beep could do the trick i dont see how cyclone playing at an increasingly high volume COULDNT.

angry!

but ohwell i skipped lunch with the team(wasnt feeling it), got back and managed to catch the replay! only caught the last 20 minutes of full time and the both extra times though. but not bad ah in that short span i managed to catch 3 goals yeaa.

THEN i watched chelsea tv(it happened to be showing). they were interviewing this blonde guy and mygoodnessgraciousme HE'S DAMN SEXY. later on i found out his name's gudjohnssen, ex chelsea player(i think he's out already he was talking bout his 'last season' and they played a tribute to him by showing all his goals during his entire chelsea career). supersupersupersuper sexy i wonder if he's a nice guy. seemed like it :D

my mum was alone today at home and i guess its something that affected her. looks like it was quite a good decision to skip lunch.