wonderful tonight

so i was looking through facebook photos and i saw, how extraodinary everyone's lives were

band dinners, wall painting, band outings, secret private outings, working days, night outings, day outings, having fun, serve, school days, school trainings, birthdya parties, personal messages, different photos,

and how much am i missing

i came home at 1.40 tonight and all the cny decorations were up, and i realised, i didnt even get to help decorate the house this year. what did mummy do today what time did she come home from work? how come the clock's back o nthe wall where did she bring it to have it fixed? what did beth cook for dinner today, how did she cook it? did she do any washing? did miko have fun or was he just sleeping or being his normal greedy self?

and all i did, was go to a school i can only wish to step into and have a life in, to dance, to attract stupid attention, to get my steps right my legs right my feelings right, to help, to have fun. then i went over to mei's house to doll up to at least look presentable to go to zouk to watch other people dance and look at them perform and wonder how they feel, then walk around looking for supper and finally finding it with someone in the east somewhere in the east.

and then coming home to realise all this.