maybe i really have to shutup because what i think is like upup in the cotton candy sky, never touching the ground. it doesnt make sense and it just might never will so i shouldnt make things worse by telling people things that 1.makes them even more muddled 2.wastes their time and 3.doesnt make them feel any better.
maybe im just too used to your presence, too used to the thought of you lingering at the back of my mind, that i am dellusional that i am fantasizing. its become a bad habit, nothing more.
unfeeling's the word, its like nothing goes beyond this barrier of emotion, that everything lies on the deep surface.
at least my brain's still functioning, even if its the wrong, wonky way.
i think mr chua sees improvement, i think we're on a better track than before, it couldve been this way much earlier but somehow it didnt happen.
once youve tasted the best, its hard to settle for second best no matter how unique it is (eeesnt it ahaha) like an alien who doesnt want to become human.
i wish i had time to study. me and verin came to a consensus that studying is actually veryvery extremely fun, and we concluded that in a serious no sarcasm tone. WE'RE SREIOUS IT GIVES YOU JOY
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I WORE THE BV UNIFORM TODAY AND IT FELT GOOD I WISH I COULD WEAR IT ALL THE TIME AGAIN I WISH I COULD TURN AND SEE RABIA AND ZAF TOGETHR, LYNNETTE YINHUI HUIYI AND COMPANY TOGETHER, EUNICE READING, TANYEEKIM SMILING AND MUMBLING TO HERSELF XIAOYAN AND PIAOXUE DOODLING AND SMILING LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW CHINYANG STONING HAKIM AND TOBIE RUSHING THEIR ART PORTFOLIOS FARIS HAZIQ DAVID ZAKI AND THE OTHER BOYS RUSHING THEIR DNT PORTFOLIOS ROXANNE AND EMILY TWIRLING ON THE ROTATING SEAT AND WENDY SLEEPING LIKE SLEEPING BEAUTY.
everything's so different now and i gotta stop complaining. rox said we dont wanna forget but sometimes its better that we do.
maybe just for a little while. maybe just for six months i shall move on. completely.
jonadab you'll be dearly missed. sincerely.
everything's so different now and i gotta stop complaining. rox said we dont wanna forget but sometimes its better that we do.
maybe just for a little while. maybe just for six months i shall move on. completely.
jonadab you'll be dearly missed. sincerely.
Friday, February 15, 2008
and you had a fcuking bad day
woke up angry with my maid because im quite tired of her waking me up by keeping silent and poking me(it doesnt really work i just fall in and out on sleep its even more bloody tiring)
coming to school and having to listen to the ringing sound of (quite) a(few) call(s) which havent been picked up by the other party, having to wander around the school, deciding to seek refuge in the toilet and face check for a while in the mean time only to find another girl who decides to hog the mirror silence in the toilet between two strangers isnt very nice so i had to go back out almost immediately bloodyf
then going for gp and fucking failing while everyone else does well what in the world were the examiners thinking when they marked my olevel script oo nice handwriting lets give her alot of marks for that then going for maths and getting the lowest in class doesnt help im not doing well for chem either and sitting down there just having thoughts raging through my mind pleading for me to push it away and trample on them mentally and not showing any signs of doing it physically on my face was just something im getting sick of recently
then going for a break and finding out from whitespecsboy lyndon i mean mr chua found my blog and published it on the class blog which immediately made it famous how dare he publish it this it is none of your business you have no right to do that to publish it and make mockery of it i know its on the internet which isnt the most private thing but this is mine. my personal belonging and i have the damn right to be angry at you for publicly announcing that i have done wrong in this blog when i have not. how dare you.
practically ruined my day i dont even want to think of what is going to happen in the future but its alright i dont want to kill braincells and waste precious potentially happy seconds on that childish issue.
after that was bio tutorial it was one of the better tutorials but somehow i feel like i have no recollection of any new knowledge its so useless to go for a tutorial learn something ad forget it in just about six hours
after that was supposed to be chinese had a mind of skipping it but met laoshi on the way to getting the ball from jo and she pissed me off again i dont know there's just something about the things she say that make me feel so frustrated so driven into a corner i try not to think its unreasonable but somehow all my arguments with myself lead to that word i skipped it in the end anyway i had no mood to tolerate useless lessons again
studied for chem spa i forgot to write one of the more important sources of error and im angry at myself for that at least i managed to finish it it was one of the better spas ive taken
macs after that wanted a prosperity meal to cheer me up but alas the beef one was not available so we had chicken but it was bad i wouldnt eat it again it tasted like salty and chewy cardboard. mum called asked if i wanted a lift home but i was only threequarts done with fay so i said no but regretted after that because i couldve asked her to wait for about fifteen minutes that'd have saved me about 45 minutes travelling time i hate it when im close to getting a lift but not be able to the journey's mentally tiring
oh and not to forget(which i just did)looking through friendster profiles of your old sec sch best buddies which you worked so hard to keep despite all the sadness and disappointing news only to find out all that was for naught and to them you are just some insignificant soul who had never really mattered because they lose contact with you the moment you are out of their sight for more than three days how wonderful is that cny hopping was fun i was thinking about it during this years cny i thought no one organised it i thought it just didnt go on
i never thought it did, just without me, and wendy, and yinhui. i really dont like you guys, what kind of friends are these.
now i feel like stuffing myself with chocolates and green tea because green tea calms the mind and chocolates make you think youre happy
unconfirmed game tomorrow then its manu vs arsenal my weekend's burnt already i dont know what else to do
theres just so damn little time to catch up with school soccer friends and even myself i feel like my soul's left behind somewhere only i dont know
bloody hell
i wonder if anyone really read that whole lot of fucktrash i dont feel like moving anymore
coming to school and having to listen to the ringing sound of (quite) a(few) call(s) which havent been picked up by the other party, having to wander around the school, deciding to seek refuge in the toilet and face check for a while in the mean time only to find another girl who decides to hog the mirror silence in the toilet between two strangers isnt very nice so i had to go back out almost immediately bloodyf
then going for gp and fucking failing while everyone else does well what in the world were the examiners thinking when they marked my olevel script oo nice handwriting lets give her alot of marks for that then going for maths and getting the lowest in class doesnt help im not doing well for chem either and sitting down there just having thoughts raging through my mind pleading for me to push it away and trample on them mentally and not showing any signs of doing it physically on my face was just something im getting sick of recently
then going for a break and finding out from whitespecsboy lyndon i mean mr chua found my blog and published it on the class blog which immediately made it famous how dare he publish it this it is none of your business you have no right to do that to publish it and make mockery of it i know its on the internet which isnt the most private thing but this is mine. my personal belonging and i have the damn right to be angry at you for publicly announcing that i have done wrong in this blog when i have not. how dare you.
practically ruined my day i dont even want to think of what is going to happen in the future but its alright i dont want to kill braincells and waste precious potentially happy seconds on that childish issue.
after that was bio tutorial it was one of the better tutorials but somehow i feel like i have no recollection of any new knowledge its so useless to go for a tutorial learn something ad forget it in just about six hours
after that was supposed to be chinese had a mind of skipping it but met laoshi on the way to getting the ball from jo and she pissed me off again i dont know there's just something about the things she say that make me feel so frustrated so driven into a corner i try not to think its unreasonable but somehow all my arguments with myself lead to that word i skipped it in the end anyway i had no mood to tolerate useless lessons again
studied for chem spa i forgot to write one of the more important sources of error and im angry at myself for that at least i managed to finish it it was one of the better spas ive taken
macs after that wanted a prosperity meal to cheer me up but alas the beef one was not available so we had chicken but it was bad i wouldnt eat it again it tasted like salty and chewy cardboard. mum called asked if i wanted a lift home but i was only threequarts done with fay so i said no but regretted after that because i couldve asked her to wait for about fifteen minutes that'd have saved me about 45 minutes travelling time i hate it when im close to getting a lift but not be able to the journey's mentally tiring
oh and not to forget(which i just did)looking through friendster profiles of your old sec sch best buddies which you worked so hard to keep despite all the sadness and disappointing news only to find out all that was for naught and to them you are just some insignificant soul who had never really mattered because they lose contact with you the moment you are out of their sight for more than three days how wonderful is that cny hopping was fun i was thinking about it during this years cny i thought no one organised it i thought it just didnt go on
i never thought it did, just without me, and wendy, and yinhui. i really dont like you guys, what kind of friends are these.
now i feel like stuffing myself with chocolates and green tea because green tea calms the mind and chocolates make you think youre happy
unconfirmed game tomorrow then its manu vs arsenal my weekend's burnt already i dont know what else to do
theres just so damn little time to catch up with school soccer friends and even myself i feel like my soul's left behind somewhere only i dont know
bloody hell
i wonder if anyone really read that whole lot of fucktrash i dont feel like moving anymore
Thursday, February 14, 2008
ill take it to my grave.
i never believed teachers would read the students' blog but now i do. hello teacher!
i thought teachers had hectic schedules.
--
if you wanna pick on me, fine. who you choose to be isnt any of my business. your acts are yours alone. im sorry if ive said mean things or hurt your precious heart so im telling you, im not gna do anymore. you are solely my teacher, even if it doesnt make me happy. no more childish acts because i will not stoop to such a level.
how dare you, but its fine. you can go do more things to satisfy your childish wants, and you can tell me when you're done. no, actually, you dont have to, i dont really want to bother, teacher.
i thought teachers had hectic schedules.
--
if you wanna pick on me, fine. who you choose to be isnt any of my business. your acts are yours alone. im sorry if ive said mean things or hurt your precious heart so im telling you, im not gna do anymore. you are solely my teacher, even if it doesnt make me happy. no more childish acts because i will not stoop to such a level.
how dare you, but its fine. you can go do more things to satisfy your childish wants, and you can tell me when you're done. no, actually, you dont have to, i dont really want to bother, teacher.
Friday, February 8, 2008
work from dawn till set of sun
nothing good has been happening in school nowadays. friends provide comfort but i feel like im treading on eggshells/thin ice, one wrong comment and they'll be gone.
distant friends, close strangers
gone is the feeling of familiarity, ive said this before but im saying it again.
soccer's going downhill again, whats wrong whats wrong
why is everything screwing up
im looking like a druggie with every day gone, and there's nothing much i can do about it. there's nothing much to tell me to do something about it, to make me wanna.
distant friends, close strangers
gone is the feeling of familiarity, ive said this before but im saying it again.
soccer's going downhill again, whats wrong whats wrong
why is everything screwing up
im looking like a druggie with every day gone, and there's nothing much i can do about it. there's nothing much to tell me to do something about it, to make me wanna.
CNY
is something ive been looking forward to!
ill blog about it when its all over (:
all i know is, there's always one thing to look forward to EVERY cny for the past few years. no, not angbaos. its....
macs PROSPERITY MEAL! best thing macs ever sold. :D
--
jahr y2 eeu3 uy27 uegjargnaor92u 84tyuragjv nfasj dfuwefhgugrj baiyer83y urhgajtb 38taw 3hgna;lgnavnaruhfajkegfyaefi2yr 9ytg8y agnbfjabsjdefbawyurtwagr7y3 hrajgnwaebfeuiag aeuegakfnbakehfw8ey278t gkjahguiaeytfoeghahgeauige.
ill blog about it when its all over (:
all i know is, there's always one thing to look forward to EVERY cny for the past few years. no, not angbaos. its....
macs PROSPERITY MEAL! best thing macs ever sold. :D
--
jahr y2 eeu3 uy27 uegjargnaor92u 84tyuragjv nfasj dfuwefhgugrj baiyer83y urhgajtb 38taw 3hgna;lgnavnaruhfajkegfyaefi2yr 9ytg8y agnbfjabsjdefbawyurtwagr7y3 hrajgnwaebfeuiag aeuegakfnbakehfw8ey278t gkjahguiaeytfoeghahgeauige.
Monday, February 4, 2008
oreos with milk
sounds good right now (: random blogging!
--
saturday left me a very satisfied girl, despite all the upturned smiles and heavy hearts.
4-3, one assist, thats all i need to make me happy. even if i played for less than 40 minutes(one half). makes me want to do more more more.
ate kfc after that, its been long zinger buddy :D im gna eat it again soon! no training = eat whatever you want.
--
dustbins are my best friend cos i can throw anything i want in it but still be able to open it and take a peek. but nope. no more peeks, not worth my time. i thought you were more than meets the eyes/ears but i was wrong. darn it. hahaha. FAY HOW.
--
say hello to Carin Unfitlee. >:( 2.4 tomorrow, i wanna at least maintain that 12 doubt i can but hohoho lets see i hope i do!
--
sometimes even i think im weird. I BLAME IT ON THE PEOPLE AROUND ME(especially my sis) i think it runs in the family.
when i reached home today my dad went 'why you never call me to pick you up!!!' then reluctantly passed a ten dollar note to my mum. what.in.the.world. and after that my mum went 'i thought 50bucks!'
haha they're such kids tsktsk.
--
10/50 for chem, 20/45 for econs, 6/20 for h1 maths. not too bad for someone who didnt study. hahaha BT1 will be much better i swear.
my new year resolution was to have NO MORE tick but so far i havent kept my promise. i will try though! verin fay must ah!but i think one day ill just go boom and ask him to back off. i think he'll be pretty pissed after that so must avoid if possible.
--
SLEEP! and shopping on wednesday for more stuff i cant wait for the concert i want it to be awesomeeeee! shu lai bao restaurant(halal ok) awaits!
--
the inter-jc rose thing's pretty cool (: i wish people wont see it as a popularity contest though, at least not to mine cos mine's filled with the love i couldnt shower upon you all the past year plus ok? <3
friendship week sounds quite cool im quite excited for it!
now i feel like bingeing on chocolates (:
--
i think ive got the 100-day cough! so cool does it really go away RIGHT after a hundred days?
--
saturday left me a very satisfied girl, despite all the upturned smiles and heavy hearts.
4-3, one assist, thats all i need to make me happy. even if i played for less than 40 minutes(one half). makes me want to do more more more.
ate kfc after that, its been long zinger buddy :D im gna eat it again soon! no training = eat whatever you want.
--
dustbins are my best friend cos i can throw anything i want in it but still be able to open it and take a peek. but nope. no more peeks, not worth my time. i thought you were more than meets the eyes/ears but i was wrong. darn it. hahaha. FAY HOW.
--
say hello to Carin Unfitlee. >:( 2.4 tomorrow, i wanna at least maintain that 12 doubt i can but hohoho lets see i hope i do!
--
sometimes even i think im weird. I BLAME IT ON THE PEOPLE AROUND ME(especially my sis) i think it runs in the family.
when i reached home today my dad went 'why you never call me to pick you up!!!' then reluctantly passed a ten dollar note to my mum. what.in.the.world. and after that my mum went 'i thought 50bucks!'
haha they're such kids tsktsk.
--
10/50 for chem, 20/45 for econs, 6/20 for h1 maths. not too bad for someone who didnt study. hahaha BT1 will be much better i swear.
my new year resolution was to have NO MORE tick but so far i havent kept my promise. i will try though! verin fay must ah!but i think one day ill just go boom and ask him to back off. i think he'll be pretty pissed after that so must avoid if possible.
--
SLEEP! and shopping on wednesday for more stuff i cant wait for the concert i want it to be awesomeeeee! shu lai bao restaurant(halal ok) awaits!
--
the inter-jc rose thing's pretty cool (: i wish people wont see it as a popularity contest though, at least not to mine cos mine's filled with the love i couldnt shower upon you all the past year plus ok? <3
friendship week sounds quite cool im quite excited for it!
now i feel like bingeing on chocolates (:
--
i think ive got the 100-day cough! so cool does it really go away RIGHT after a hundred days?
Sunday, February 3, 2008
all at one time.
was reading rabia's blog and there was this part about criminal law and she scored damn well for her test. so amazing (:
wonder how everyone's doing. heard keith's working at coffeeclub, will drop by one day to say hi. i know rabia's ding fine at law, how bout zaf, how bout lynnette yinhui piaoxue siaoyan huda eunice fatimah(spelling?) tobie david haziq faris hakim mildred pngshi sya may desiree shirley yixiang stevi huiyi shaun chinyang, kiang xinyi weining huijia yining alicia jolene?
how're their friends, do they miss us, i wonder how our meetings in future will be. happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
life's to big for us to understand
--
did some work today, i officially hate sajc moodle ive created about 5 accounts and havent been able to log in that useless piece of shit dont blame me for not handing in tutorials or doing my work or readin stupid articles on it
--
angsty night. i went to sleep last night feeling like there's nothing to think about cos everything's a mess in other words, a frown.
im sorry i cant blog about happy things, there just isnt much to remember.
maybe we all should just go on without thinking so much. there's no wrong in running away from something that you can do without.
--
im hungry >:(
tomorrow's monday >:(
ROAR beepbeepbeepbeepbeep
wonder how everyone's doing. heard keith's working at coffeeclub, will drop by one day to say hi. i know rabia's ding fine at law, how bout zaf, how bout lynnette yinhui piaoxue siaoyan huda eunice fatimah(spelling?) tobie david haziq faris hakim mildred pngshi sya may desiree shirley yixiang stevi huiyi shaun chinyang, kiang xinyi weining huijia yining alicia jolene?
how're their friends, do they miss us, i wonder how our meetings in future will be. happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
life's to big for us to understand
--
did some work today, i officially hate sajc moodle ive created about 5 accounts and havent been able to log in that useless piece of shit dont blame me for not handing in tutorials or doing my work or readin stupid articles on it
--
angsty night. i went to sleep last night feeling like there's nothing to think about cos everything's a mess in other words, a frown.
im sorry i cant blog about happy things, there just isnt much to remember.
maybe we all should just go on without thinking so much. there's no wrong in running away from something that you can do without.
--
im hungry >:(
tomorrow's monday >:(
ROAR beepbeepbeepbeepbeep
Saturday, February 2, 2008
love is blind
and blinding it is too. too many a time has this happened. a couple quarrels, one says lets break up its for the best. whose best? A's? B's?
think about it please?
--
i hate it, absolutely loathe it when i see my friends in obvious trouble but there's nothing i can do no way i can reach out. a touch on the hand which doesnt lead to the heart means nothing, you see?
--
match against queensway today. got subbed in in second half, im just glad i got to play. end score?
4-3. we won. (: finally. feels good to win a friendly.
we're gna win more you hear me? there's so much we can do. what's stopping us?
--
not looking forward to monday's training. i do not fucking run like paris hilton that comment was effing unnecessary and ridiculous. wtf
think about it please?
--
i hate it, absolutely loathe it when i see my friends in obvious trouble but there's nothing i can do no way i can reach out. a touch on the hand which doesnt lead to the heart means nothing, you see?
--
match against queensway today. got subbed in in second half, im just glad i got to play. end score?
4-3. we won. (: finally. feels good to win a friendly.
we're gna win more you hear me? there's so much we can do. what's stopping us?
--
not looking forward to monday's training. i do not fucking run like paris hilton that comment was effing unnecessary and ridiculous. wtf
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